20 - Gaming & Relationships #1 : Reddit Stories

In this episode, I’m trying something a little different.

Since I don’t have listener submissions just yet, I went through some Reddit stories about gamers and non-gamers in relationships and picked a couple to talk about.

I share my thoughts on the situations, what might be going wrong, and the kind of advice I’d give. If you’ve ever felt like gaming was causing tension in a relationship (on either side), this one’s for you.

First Reddit post : https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/17zucc5/my_husbands_gaming_addiction_is_going_to_end_our/#:~:text=He%20plays%20the%20online%20version,accomplishment%20center%20of%20his%20brain

Second Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1077j1u/wife_26f_says_that_i_27m_would_rather_spend_time/

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Transcript

Juke: 0:00

Getting gamers. Hello, travelers, and welcome to getting gamers. Your guide to understanding the gamers in your life. I am your host, juke and I am still sick, as you probably hear in my voice, that is my lead, because I am batch recording right now, and I'm pretty proud of myself, but I guess that gives you just another reason to subscribe to see the evolution of how my voice heals. Oh, my God, I'm coming up with stupid reasons now, and if you're listening to this right now, it means I got myself to edit so many episodes, which is great, because right now I am recording a lot of episodes, but I am struggling at finding the motivation to edit, especially editing episodes that I've recorded sick means having to edit out a bunch of moments Where I cough, which just makes the task a little a longer task. Anyways, last week I mentioned wanting to explore different formats, like giving advice and responding to questions and stuff like that. And like I said, in lieu of questions of listeners, I will be using Reddit stories. We're going to be reading two Reddit posts today, one from the perspective of a non gamer and one from the perspective of a gamer that are touching the similar topics. I think chances are I'm going to have to read this paragraph by paragraph, because I have so many opinions about this topic, and I think there's just a lot more to think about and to consider that certain people are missing in their posts, or from the perspective that they're voicing. So we're gonna start with the story that's from the perspective of a non gamer, because I feel like that complaint is the one that we hear the most often, like a lot of non gamers will relate to it, and a lot of gamers have heard that complaint. And I know that topics like this can be a little triggering for people, which is why I think it's nice to end with the gamers perspective, I think it might be just a little less heavy. We'll see we'll see how it goes. They're not too long, and both stories will be linked in the description, and they took screenshots in case the posts ever get deleted. So without further ado, let's get into our first story. Okay, this story comes from the subreddit r slash stop gaming. So I know like it. Can you give you an idea that where this person is going if they're posting in that stop subreddit? I'm not subscribed to that subreddit. It's not something I seek out. But while looking for stories, this one came up, and it was in that subreddit. It comes from two years ago. The story is called my husband's gaming addiction is going to end our marriage. Let's get into it. My husband and I have been together for nearly a decade, married since 2017 we have two beautiful children together. He gamed way before I met him. When we started dating, he had the full rig. He built his gaming PC, and he had a dedicated desk and chair for his gaming computer. Almost from the beginning, the gaming became an issue. He used to travel for work back then, and I did hospital shift work, so he would play games on his phone during the day and on nights and weekends, would be on the PC. I didn't notice it as much because I wasn't there while a couple years into our relationship, he got another job, traveled less, and took a regular eight to five job. He did tone it down for the first few years we were together, but it would always slowly creep back in, playing one night a week, then three, then playing a game on his phone during the day and moving to the computer at night. It would devolve into an argument. He would say he wouldn't play as much, and for a little while he wouldn't, but then the creep would start again. I would tell him constantly he was addicted. Some people can play video games recreationally. He's not one of those people. It's all consuming for him, if I wasn't on his ass all the time, being the annoying nagging wife, he would play all the time. There were a couple years where he pretty much didn't play at all. This was after I had a complete meltdown and threatened to leave him in this time, he got his pilot's license, got a new job with a big pay raise, we remodeled our house, we took vacations after our first born. He he couldn't really do much as far as gaming. He knew I'd have a meltdown if he left me with a baby to go game. This was also 2020 we all know how that went. He got into Lego for a while, but he would put them together, and they just sat around. We live in a 1200 square foot house, so that wasn't going to work. One of his favorite retorts is that. Gaming is his hobby, and she put hobby in quotation marks. Fast forward to now, and the creep is back. He thinks that since he's not playing a quote, unquote video game, that it's not the same. He plays the online version of a board game, Twilight Imperium. Now he's either on Discord talking about it, or on his phone playing it, and when the kids go down for the night, he's in the office playing it until one in the morning. He hasn't had a PC since 2019 I made him get rid of it. What he does have is a really annoying gaming laptop with a loud ass fan. And even when he's quote, unquote, watching TV with me, he's on that laptop playing that game. This man is 41 years old. I'm tired to my bones with asking him to stop the gaming. He's not a bad person, he's not a bad father, but this will end us if he doesn't stop I just don't know what to do anymore. It's very clear to me that he doesn't care about our marriage, because he knows how I feel about him gaming. I've tried explaining to him that, yes, it's an addiction. It all falls on deaf ears. Our youngest just turned one, and I don't want to be a single mother, and I love him dearly, but I'm tired of arguing about it. I'm tired of yelling and nagging and being the bad guy. I'm just over it. I did to say thank you for all the helpful comments. I agree with the escapism, with gaming being an escape. I also think gaming is a way for him to tap into that reward sense of accomplishment, center of his brain. Okay, so I did succeed in making it all the way through without stopping at each paragraph, but I do have a lot of opinions, because the story kind of breaks my heart. It makes me sad that she said she put hobby in quotation marks when she said that, he says that it's a hobby, because it is a hobby for many people. And she mentions him having an addiction. And I do believe that some people do develop an addiction to gaming. And I remember when I did the episode in Season One about gaming addiction, I had someone reach out about the subject and telling me that they were grateful that people were talking about it, because not everybody realizes that it's a real issue. So I don't want to neglect that. And if this is what he really is struggling with, then so be it. I hope he gets help if it's truly an addiction. But from what I'm reading, it doesn't feel like he's addicted. I just it sounds to me like he's passionate, because you're saying like he goes on the game when the kids are down to sleep. It would be a different story if you were telling me I have to put the kids down to sleep alone, and I have to do everything alone because he's always gaming. And I've been there, I've I've been in that situation of like, I have to handle everything alone because he's always gaming, and I still didn't like make the person get rid of their PC, especially building your own PC, I feel like, for me, I built my own PC A while back because I thought it was a fun, like, puzzle type challenge. Definitely, having built it. I'm definitely more attached to this computer than I've ever been to a computer ever I've never was really attached to my computer before building my own and investing that time and that research. So that broke my heart, like finding out that, like, she made him get rid of his PC then again, like it would have been different if you said we were struggling financially and we needed to buy something important, or payment medical bills for the baby, and we had to sell the PC, because a PC can be, like, a few $1,000 then I would understand. But then, just saying, I had a meltdown. I made him get rid of the PC. That breaks my heart. I think what I'm truly like understanding here is that if, if, let's say we're going on a premise that, like, I'm not feeling from what I'm reading, that this guy in this relationship is truly addicted to gaming. I think he's passionate, if he truly, like had an addiction to video games. The issues that you would be bringing up in this post, and that she should have brought up in this post, is everything that's being neglected because of his gaming, but the only like hint of neglect that I'm getting, like I'm not getting from this post that he's neglecting his kids, I'm not getting from this post that he's neglecting his household, like his chores and stuff like that, I do feel like she's feeling neglected in the relationship, like when She's saying, when they're watching TV together, that he's gaming. That is definitely like for me in our one on one time, if the only, especially if the only one on one time we have is watching TV like when you have kids and you're working your lives are so busy that often, like that hour or two that you get watching TV with your partner after you put the kids down, might be the only free time that you guys like actually get to have together in that day. If my partner was disconnected from me, I would also have a problem with that. So I'm definitely feeling like she feels neglected in the relationship. And that is so valid, and that does happen with people who are really passionate about their hobbies, no matter the. Hobby, right? Like, I know so many people who like knit and crochet, and they are knitting and crocheting while doing absolutely any task where their hands are free. So if they're watching TV, they're knitting crocheting. If anytime they're doing something that doesn't require their hands, they are automatically knitting crocheting, and that is not seen like a problem to anyone, right? I think you have to keep that in mind. Like, if you do see it as a hobby, and you compare it to other hobbies that you know, that people are really passionate about, then I think it makes it more understandable and and it does feel like he he does show that he's able to have self control, but you have to understand that, like being deprived of something that you're passionate about, of course, when you get to tap back into it, you might like dive deep, or at some point, you kind of like fall back into old patterns. But it might be also this vicious cycle of like he ends up falling into this deep pit of gaming all the time, because he doesn't have this space to actually develop, like a healthy routine, because it's, it's all or nothing, kind of like he, he he knows he's gonna end up having to stop because there's gonna be another fight or something, and so he's trying to cram in as much gaming time as he can before he has to stop again. Those are, like a lot of possibilities, and I wonder if, if that cycle is maybe contributing to the feeling of addiction, because yearning for something that you're you're passionate about is like a totally understandable and human feeling, right? It's really sad to say, because I think this is a situation where this couple should have realized they weren't compatible a long time ago, if she really has such a problem with his hobby. And again, going off the premise that that I, I don't believe that this is presented as an addiction. I mean, if he's 41 I don't know what age she is, it didn't mention it. But I mean, gaming has been a big part of his life for probably, like, most of his life at this point, and forcing him to give up, like, this hobby that he seems really passionate about, and and she mentioned discord, which means community. If he's on Discord, that means, like, that's his friends, that's the people he's talking to and playing with. And I think a lot of people don't understand that. And I'm going to do soon an episode to dive deeper into discord to help people understand because I feel like that's just not something that non gamers necessarily expect or understand. Is the community that people find on Discord. I've dated so many gamers that like come off as such introverts, but the definition of like introverts and extroverts is introverts, they recharge their energy when they're, like, alone at home and stuff like that. And extroverts, they recharge their energy by, like, socializing with their friends and other people. And what I've come to realize is a lot of the gamers I thought were introverts, I thought they recharged their energy by being alone. They are extroverts. It's just it presents differently. They recharge their energy by talking to their friends, and they talk to their friends almost daily. And it's so impressive. I don't have that many friends that I talk to that often, and I don't really feel like talking to people that often. I come to realize that some of these gamers that I've dated that that people are so convinced are introverts are more extroverts than I am. So it just makes me sad, because I feel like there were clear signs from the beginning, from what I understand, that they were maybe not compatible, and now they've gone so far into the relationship, I think there's like compromises to be made. I know that I've had in the past, situations where I've had to ask partners, hey, can you not log on to discord as soon as you wake up on your off days? Because I don't mind that you like you wake up and feel like having time on your computer, but if you log on to discord, that means like, like, at any moment, you might not be alone anymore, right? There might be someone like, if you log on to a server and wait, that means that, like, if someone jumps on and you guys start talking, all of a sudden, we're not alone in the house, and it increases the chances of getting hooked into the computer for, like, longer than you planned in the morning. And so I've asked that because I don't put on all these limits, because I'm not in control of my partner, like, I've had people ask me as my partner, Hey, can I go game? And I'm like, I'm not your parent. When I go watch TV, I'm not like, Hey, can I go watch TV? So I've always found it weird if a partner asks me, can I go game? Why you asking me permission? But I come to understand that like they've had previous relationships where it's been really like, problematic and strict some people are. So I. Convinced that gaming is bad or a waste of time, that they're not keeping their minds open. Because if your partner is gaming as much as you watch TV, let's say like for the same let's say you watch like two hours of TV a day at the end of your day, and they game for two hours at the end of the day, they're spending a more productive two hours than you are. Yeah, like that. I feel so strongly about that. Gaming like works hand eye coordination. It works the like strategy part of your brain, the memory part of your brain. If they're on Discord, they're working on teamwork and communication. There's just so many benefits, and it makes your brain work so much more than watching TV does. So what's the issue really? Is it that you're not spending time together? Is it that they're not contributing to the household? If that's the issue, then you have to name that issue if you wish that your partner would make sure they did their chores before the game, then you have to communicate that I remember I had a partner in the past who would, like, wake up on the weekends and do dishes as soon as they woke up. That for me, would be such a shitty way to start my day by, like, waking up and doing the dishes while I'm waiting for my coffee to be mean, no, like, I need to wake up have my coffee, especially on a weekend, you know. Like, people are different, right? So some people wake up and want to do their tasks right away and get rid of it, and some people need a bit a bit of time in the morning, and that is a conversation to be had. I think it's very easy. It like for me to imagine that conversation and be like, okay, ask my partner, what are they like? Let's say my partner is like, I'm the type of person who likes to, like, have a bit of computer time in the morning on my days off, and then get going on work, and then being like, Okay, well, can we be a little honest, or can I be a little, a little direct and say that maybe lately, you've shown that it's hard for you to separate from the computer and get going on your tasks, and that we've we've fallen behind on tasks, maybe in that system. So do you? Would you be interested in exploring ways that we can improve that system? Or would you be interested in exploring different systems? For example, making sure you do a task before you plug into your computer, or making sure you set yourself a timer, and then you respect that timer. You can also have conversations about how you feel about the household chores, like for me, if I have partners that like leave everything onto me, or in the past, when I have been the partner that hasn't contributed to the household tasks as much as the other partners, I have felt like it was a sign of disrespect. I think maintaining when you're living in a shared environment, helping maintaining it to like a standard, is a sign of respect for the people that you live with and for yourself, right? And and sometimes people have different standards, so So that also has to be communicated, right? There are conversations that need to be had, but you have to be honest with yourself, with why the gaming is an issue for you. Is it really about the gaming? Is it about the types of games or what you're seeing on the screen is bothering you? Is it about how they're contributing to the household, or is it about how you feel? Do you feel neglected? You need to deconstruct that for yourself first and then communicate honestly and openly with your partner, and that will make a world of a difference. But setting ultimatums and meltdowns, I think they're always just a vicious circle of like, big reactions and your partner making big gestures or big decisions to appease those big reactions and not being able to to hold up to those big promises because they're they're heavy and not what their heart truly wants. You guys have to come to a place where you both want the same thing. I think I've said all I've had to say, but I would love to hear everyone's opinions on this story. And there are plenty of ways to reach out and give us opinions, your opinions on the story. There is getting gamers.com where you can write in. There is the email, which is getting gamers@gmail.com all our social media is going to be linked in the description. And now let's move on to our second story. Now to remind you that our second story is from the perspective of a gamer, and it is going to be a very like similar situation, from what I remember, but let's jump right into it. This next story comes from the subreddit r slash relationships advice. Relationship advice, or r slash relationship underscore advice. The title is wife 26 female says that I 27 male would would rather spend time playing video games than with her been married five years. How do I respond? New to this sub? Sorry if this question gets asked a lot. Here, I play video games two to three nights a week, usually on PC, online with friends, sometimes on my switch by myself. PC is in another room. I play switch handheld on the couch. PC gaming sessions are about 1.5 to three hours. Usually a frequent response I get to telling my wife I'm going to game for a bit is you would rather play video games than hang out with me or something like, we haven't really seen each other today, and that's what you want to do. We have a one year old, and I'm very involved in household chores and daily tasks, and we usually go out just the two of us at least once a week. On days when I don't game, we play board games together or watch TV. What can I do in this situation? This is my biggest social outlet, and one of very few, not to mention, I just really enjoy gaming. It's not the video games themselves, although it used to be as she will do this if I have another hobby too. She acts all mopey whenever I game, and will text me if it's been quote, unquote too long, and will generally give me the cold shoulder the rest of the night. I've tried to help her get hobbies to do while I game, but she would rather just sit on the couch and talk. I don't have anything against that. We just spent an entire weekend together with no electronics, just talking, and she's giving the same response as normal. Edit, thanks for all the responses. Most are really helpful. Additional context, I work from home and see my wife and son frequently during the day, she is mostly a stay at home mom, but works one night a week as a nurse, one of the days I usually game, unless I have a remodel project I can work on or there are a lot of chores to catch up on. We live in a small town, and she doesn't have many friends nearby. Having equal responsibilities with preparing meals, chores and taking care of our son has always been important to us. Taking care of a child is a full time job. This is one of my main sources of social interaction with people my age. She says, I can't claim that because I don't have meaningful conversations with them. Wow, that is really interesting to me, because the complaint is really about the time, and I cannot relate to that because he games two to three times a week. The gamers I have dated game every night, and I've not had a problem with that, because every night I like to have some time to do my hobbies or watch my shows. Okay, I gotta admit that most of the time I'm watching a show. I wish most of the time I worked on Hobbies, but I ended up being, I guess, lazy. Yeah, I'm, I'm very because he words it really well, like I'm so happy that he is on top of his chores and he is contributing to, you know, the child care, and not putting all that on her. And he's making sure that he, like, tries to game when she's not home, but, but if she if she's not home, and he does have a task to do, he still focuses on the task. And of course, this is just what he's saying. But we have to go off, off what we have. And that, for me, is like showing so much responsibility. I think what she's Voicing is that she feels neglected in the relationship, and I think what he's voicing here is that he doesn't understand why she feels neglected, because he feels like he's investing a lot of time in to the relationship, and he is like, I'm the no electronic dates. Like, honestly, other gamers out there take notes on this guy, even though, like, his partner, is still complaining. I know plenty of partners where the what he is doing is is exactly like, perfectly what a lot of partners just want, right? They just want you to contribute. And then you do you with your free time. If you want to gain with your free time, and you've contributed to the household, and you've contributed to the childcare and and you've contributed to the relationship, then, yeah, like, you get free time too. So I don't want the story to, like, discourage any other gamers out there to be like, Oh, nothing will ever be enough for most people. I know what this the effort this guy is showing is absolutely enough, making sure that you are a team and that you're not making your partner be the captain of the household, that you guys share the load and the mental load and all that that that's perfect. So I'm wondering if there's things that are not mentioned here, because one and a half hours to three hours a gaming session is so reasonable. Yeah, if you think about it, that's like one to two movies that's like binge watching a few episodes. But that's not like there's like three episodes that's not even like binge watching, right? Like three episodes in the night is like, very normal, if you ask me, and only two to three times a week, which to me, is super impressive. Like, I know gamers. I know gamers who have kids and who game almost every night. You know, after the kid goes to bed, like babies go to bed early, they game and they play games, or they can be interrupted, or they play games and they accept that it will affect their ratings, because they will be interrupted by having to get up and take care of the kids. Sometimes, I really wonder if there's like things that are unsaid in the story that are missing, or if there has to be a deeper conversation in that relationship where you really ask your partner, like, what is missing from our quality time together to help satiate you. Because again, it has to do with compatibility, but at this point, they already have a one year old. Maybe for other people to learn from this story is to have conversations about what expectations your partners have in a relationship. I'll give an example that has nothing to do with gaming, and that's personal to me. I know not everybody agrees with this, but I do not eat meat. I haven't eaten meat. I stopped eating meat when I was about 12, and that journey has been my own. When I am in a relationship with people, I make it very clear to them that I do not expect and I will not push them to stop eating meat. I won't be the pushy veggie person. However, I do not want meat in my house. I don't want meat in my kitchen. I don't want meat in my fridge. I don't want a pool of blood because they're thawing out meat. I don't want that that makes me uncomfortable and that makes me sad, and I don't want to be have to having to read labels in my own home to make sure I can eat that food. So that's my rule. And I think as long as like that rule is respected, and I try not to be pushy, and I try not to put documentary documentaries down in your throat, though, I always will suggest them like. I will be like, you know, if you want to win points with me, watching those documentaries definitely will make me, like, so happy and impressed, but I typically don't feel like sitting through a documentary I've already watched, so I'm not gonna, like, push you to watch it, or make you sit down with you and make you watch it like it's not my thing, but I don't want it in my house. And if it does start appearing in my house, then, yes, I will become a lot more preachy, because I will, you know, be struggling with the visuals and all that, and I know that not a lot of people can relate to that, but even if you do eat meat and you're not Like me, maybe you can relate to understanding that compromise. So that's something I absolutely communicate early on in a relationship. And there are things like that, like expectations that you have. You have to be honest with yourself, it is not true that you're going into a relationship with no expectations whatsoever. No. You do have expectations. Yeah, I have expectations about the amount of time you get to spend together. You get to spend together, you have expectations about the future and the goals that you're aiming for. Right? If you're a super sedentary person dating a person who, like, wants to plan a five year plan and set goals and stuff like that, you have to communicate that, or else you're missing these like, important incompatibilities. And I think a lot of people sometimes want to dilute themselves to be like, Oh, we can work through it, or oh, I can change them. That's not how that works. You're not supposed to be with someone that you want them to change. And if you're trying to convince yourself that you want to stay with this person, but then, because you're hoping that they're going to become this thing or change this thing, then that you need to be honest with yourself about the relationship. And again, in this situation, it doesn't really apply. They already have a kid together, and they're trying to make it work. And for all intents and purposes, probably the relationship is beautiful. They're doing date nights, and they have a beautiful child. So yeah, I think they sitting down and having these conversations that should have been had earlier on is super important, obviously, in both these relationships, I think shopping for a good therapist is is going to help. And I know people feel all sorts of way about therapy, but having a third person, a mediator there to help the conversation go along, because we when you're in an argument, you both feel so attached to to your point of view that sometimes it's hard, it's hard to see sometimes where we're wrong and it's hard to like take us to. Back and having a third person there, a qualified third person there, can really be helpful. And making sure you allow yourself to shop around for a therapist that like works for both of you, is important, giving yourself the chance of understanding that the first person you meet might not be the best therapist for both of you, and having that conversation about, like, how we both have to agree to see this person together and respecting each other if one of the two really likes the therapist, but the other one is not vibing to, like, understand that it's okay and we're gonna keep looking. I think something that he named is that, like, it's a social network. And I think, like, I mean, I've already talked about it a bit, but that is so true, a lot of people don't understand that when they're asking their partners to stop gaming, they're asking them to say goodbye to a lot of their friends, some of these people they've never met in person, but they have lasting relationships with some of these people they've been talking to weekly, if Not daily, for years, and if you're like catching up with someone once a year, I mean, that just doesn't necessarily compare to a relationship of people talking weekly for several years, right? He mentioned in his post that she's saying that him saying that it's his social interactions, like the few social interactions with adults that he has, and she's saying that that's not valid, because they're not talking about anything important. That's not true. Like, think about the stereotype of the husband who goes golfing, right? They're out there golfing, and they're talking about the golfing and their shots and and their technique and all that. But through that, they're having a beer and talking about their lives, right? Same goes for like the barber shop. How many cultures, you know, regroup in the barber shop or the hairdressing salon or the nail salon, right? And people just go there. And yes, of course, they're doing a task, but they're also talking and having community. It's so common with so many hobbies, you cannot truly dilute yourself to believe that they're never talking about anything important, or that the fact that they're talking weekly, even though they're doing an activity together means that their conversations are invalid. You just can't I don't know you've seen sitcoms where the husband or the father goes bowling, has a bowling league or or any activity that's a weekly activity, like there's always more conversations around it. There's, there's empty moments, like even at work, the people you see at work, you're not only talking about work. Sometimes they're like, by the water fountain, talking about, you know, updating each other on life or whatever. So you can't, you cannot just reduce it to like, those conversations are not important. He's talking to these guys two to three times a week, even when you have a kid, especially if you're a mom, you know how important it is to have other adults to talk to. It's a stereotype. You even see it in TV shows and movies the moms being like, oh my god, it feels so good to be able to speak to another adult. That is sacred when you're a new parent. So why? Why want to take that away from him? Even if you think the conversations are invalid, it just breaks my heart a little bit. But I think, you know, I have faith in that relationship, because, like, they do seem to have such a balance that I think just a little bit of communication, extra, like, open, honest communication, maybe the help of a therapist, like, just a little push and then a little extra oomph can, like, help them unlock that communication box that they need. I think they're so close to, like, being fine. I really like from the posts, from what I read, like, from the balance they seem to have in their relationship. I think there's so much potential there to come to an understanding, and I think that's something else to keep in mind. I think a lot of people are defeatist, of like, Oh, my girlfriend has an issue with gaming, and I'm gonna have to just deal with that forever. Like, I feel like people shut down when they're faced with situations like this, and sometimes they're so close to unlocking that next part of the relationship where they get deeper and talk more honestly and yeah, I think not being defeatist about the situation and situations like this is going to be really important, because you don't want to go to extremes. You don't want to go to like this is black and white, there's a middle ground to be had, especially in these conversations. And yeah, I wonder if a conversation can be had with the girlfriend or the wife about how attached she is to the social interactions that she gets with her husband, and how maybe she might feel a year. Trying to expand her social network. Maybe that feeling that she has could help her understand why he's he wants to hold on to his social network. Maybe a deeper conversation can be had where he can help her make friends, right? Maybe figure out, like, what's her favorite hobbies, and find a group that does that right? If she likes painting, finding a paint instead. And I feel like he's the type of husband that will make that happen, from when I hear and the balance that is important to the relationship. I think it'd be so easy to find her a weekly activity where she can expand her social network as well. And that would be really great. I'm so curious to hearing everyone else's thoughts on this. I didn't dive deep into the comment sections of the either of the posts because I wanted to make sure I gave my pure opinion and that it came from me. But I invite you to explore the comment section and let me know what you think. And if you have different opinions than me, you want to delve deeper into these topics. Or if you have you need advice, or you have questions, or you need to rant, and you're hoping maybe I can give you advice. You can always write in getting gamers.com I know I've said it before and leave your questions and rantings and need for advice, and maybe you'll make it onto the next episode. So this week, for the people I want to support while I wait to get sponsors, I wanted to support my cousin. My cousin does premium car detailing, like, car like, cleans them and, oh, my God, I like, it's like personalized services. They like deep clean so of course, again, this is going to be in the Montreal area, or point aux tremble area or the RDP area. The website is J R, auto spa.ca, so J R, A, U, T, o, s, p, a.ca, everything will be linked below. Their Instagram is j dot, r dot, auto spa. He does such a great job the before and afters how great the cars look. They're amazing. So check them out. Everything will be linked down below. I really hope, like, if you're in the Montreal area and you need to get your car detailed, or you're just, like, you're just realizing right now that your car is in a rough shape, they do, like, inside and out and and honestly, like, it's really impressive. And like, your car ends up like looking brand new, so I highly suggest it. Go check them out, JR auto spa, and tune in next Tuesday for another episode of getting gamers. Maybe, maybe next Tuesday will be an interview. So subscribe, comment. What is it in podcasting? It's rate review, subscribe. Yes, rate review, subscribe, and honestly, share this episode if you think people can relate to it, or if you're like trying to open a door to communication. I think this episode could be a great way to say, Hey, we are dealing with similar issues that are addressed in this episode. Would you mind giving it a listen and discussing it with me afterwards and telling me, like, how that episode made you feel, that I think could be a great way to open communications and also help out your favorite podcast. Anyways, until next time, Gigi, our podcast. Art was made by the wonderful Arielle, who can be found on Instagram at confident and our intro natural music was made by David thespian from thespian studio.com

Unknown: 38:58

job's done.