11 - How he got his Girlfriend to Game

Generating interest in gaming with your partner can be tricky. This is why we share Perf’s perspective on how to do so in the most wholesome and effective way possible. On the other side, you also get Juke’s perspective and insights on their journey to become a gamer.

This episode was recorded before the recent denunciations at Blizzard California.

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Perf: twitch.tv/perfectedl

Art by Arielle:  

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Transcript

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Juke  0:09  
Hello, and welcome to Getting Gamers Your Guide to Understanding the gamers in your life. My name is Juke my pronouns are they them

Perf  0:18  
And my name is perf. My pronouns are he him, and today we're going to talk about how Juke became a gamer.

Juke  0:27  
Or more specifically, what perf did to get me to become into gaming or a gamer

Perf  0:38  
is going to be mainly insights of what I've done and what I've been preparing for juke to slowly pull them into the world of gaming.

Juke  0:51  
But before we start, what games have you been playing this week?

Perf  0:58  
I've been playing Dota 2 and Heroes of the Storm, which are two MOBAs.

Juke  1:05  
Yeah,

Perf  1:05  
Dota 2 is somewhat of an old love of mine, which I've been playing for six years, but I've been taking a break of like three or four years, because I've been playing Heroes of the Storm in between.

Juke  1:22  
Yeah, cuz you have a few friends who play Heroes of the Storm. Like Divi and Nailter. But only really have one friend from what I understand that plays dota 2

Perf  1:33  
Yeah, which is Galas

Juke  1:35  
Yeah. 

Perf  1:37  
At some point, you might even hear his sweet, sweet voice on our podcast, but 

Juke  1:43  
what are we gonna have to do to bribe get us to come on this? 

Perf  1:50  
Yeah, at some point. I'm going to tell it more like a story from my side, with a mix of what you guys could do with your own friends or partner that you would like to pull into, a bit more into your gaming world. Of course, at first, I had to stimulate the curiosity and slowly but surely, and I mean, by that you don't have to be too intense about gaming or trying to force anything upon your partner. But just at some point, you have to overcome your fear of being seen as too nerdy Anyway, you should, you should be confident that this person in front of you is loving and caring. So they're going to be open to what you have to say about gaming, let's say any concept or history, the lore of the game, the your favorite games. And this is if you explain everything, while taking the care of vulgarising everything at first, because it always sounds a bit extra alien to someone that's not gaming already. So you have to explain everything in depth, but not too much at the same time, because you can lose their interest or they can not understand everything. At first, so give informations bits by bits.

Juke  3:24  
And I would say like, like Perf said, this is under the assumption that we're talking about a person who is loving and caring about you, and who will be receptive to anything you have to say about gaming. And I think that if you if you were to try to get your partner or even a parent into gaming, maybe the first step, which was a step I had done before meeting, perf was to have just a baseline respect of gaming, whenever I would watch shows and say, Oh, I wasted my time. And perf would say Oh, but I do the same. And I was like yeah, but what you do hones your skills game gives you better hand eye coordination that gives you better like this. And that took I was already very realistic of the benefits that gaming has versus watching TV. So I think that that could be like a first step of just making sure that the person that you're going towards is someone who actually respects minimally at least gaming.

Perf  4:28  
Yeah, of course, a minimal amount of respect of or understanding of what's happening in your life with gaming is a requirement of some sort. But as soon as you have this explaining the goals of the game, the mechanics that comes with it, and maybe at first it is not going to be like sweet talk about is going to be more organized and goal oriented conversation about your gaming, but in time it's gonna get... The goal behind this kind of talk is to pick the curiosity of the person you're talking with.

Juke  5:05  
And it also helps you, I guess, kind of gauge, what's your entry point? You know, if you're, if you talk about, like, how to play the game, and you talk about the lore, and stuff like that, maybe you realize that they're really interested in the lore, and you're like, Oh, so then maybe, maybe something more RPG could fit that person or like something lore heavy, would make that person happier or more interested, like those, those beginner conversations, they're going to help you figure out like, the which type of game I'm guessing.

Perf  5:38  
Yeah, you. In this kind of dynamic in a relationship, you have to be the leader of some sort. You got to level with your partner and just poke around to have a general idea of what's the level of knowledge and interest in gaming from your partner, let's say your partner. This way, you will be able to evaluate the situation in a better way. In any case, when you have this idea of what your partner's capable I suggest starting with easy games easy Co Op games, and where you can actually be with your partner have some enjoy some time together. Some of these games that worked pretty well are Borderlands if you Yeah, if you, like first person shooters are very colorful, usually a bit silly. It's intriguing. The storyline is good. It's funny. 

I say Borderlands two because tiny Tina is the best. 

We'll let you guys, Discover this character. She's a bit all over the place. She's a teenager I think being very extra but thats all ill say

Juke  6:59  
But I mean, because also like if I don't know, if you're if your partner is an interior designer, maybe your way in is Minecraft, you know, like, there that you really got to think about who you're talking to and what they're receptive to. Because for me, the first game I was ever introduced to and that I enjoyed was Borderlands because of the silliness and, and because there's decent pauses between the fights. You're not constantly having to survive. There's a lot of there's parts where you're walking or looting or talking to people. So you still have time to like, regroup. You're like emotions between the intense parts, let's say, when I first started watching one of my exes game, it was him and his brother and his cousins playing Minecraft. And their complicity was what was the most intriguing and the most fun for me to watch because Minecraft is not really like, there's not much action, except at night when theirs creepers or stuff like that. But they were so silly and they had so much fun. And then my ex taught me how to like bombard them with chickens. So whenever they would leave, I would like bombard the world with chickens. So there's those different aspects of if you notice that your partner actually enjoys what hearing you and your friends play then maybe there's this whole like, teamwork aspect that might be more interesting or

Perf  8:31  
Yeah, that's why I suggested coop games to begin with. Yeah, but you you went to key concept here which is receptivity. That's where you you gamers will have to work a bit and just go through your all your games and pick a handful of them that could interest and are easy enough and fun enough to engage your partner into gaming.  if it's a card game? Maybe Hearthstone was the good one for you? Because magic magic is a good game too. But I think it's more complex than archstone. yeah, it takes more money to I'm not sure about the online game maybe maybe that's the case too. But either way, I think as long as the best point to begin with. Of course. I would suggest you not to start with intense or overwhelming games.

Juke  9:36  
Yeah, like my ex shoved me like in Call of Duty once without like explaining anything to me. And I think that set me back like two years in being interested in gaming because he just gave me remote shoved me in the middle of Call of Duty and I didn't and didn't tell me what to do. My experience with it was overwhelming. not understanding anything and being laughed at because the people around me find it funny. And yeah, it was funny. But it was it didn't help me. It didn't help me want to game at all.

Perf  10:06  
Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, it was another good way to make you like it.

Juke  10:10  
No, it was like a funny moment. Like I laughed too, because at some point, I was like, what's happening? And you're like, you ended up in the middle of the enemy camp. I don't know how you did that. And it was a funny moment. Sure. But I didn't I it didn't help me want to pick up a remote. Again,

Perf  10:24  
totally understandable. And that's why it's really important for you guys to make sure that the people you're with is understanding everything that's happening, you know, requires a bit of brain brainpower, but you got to explain what's happening. Explain the concepts. explain what's the grand plan behind the game, or even the meta if I can say, of any given game or any given competitive play? If that's where you're at with your with someone? Yeah, I would go as far as saying, Do the tutorial with them. Yeah, sure. Because the tutorial is a great, it's a great time to just learn the basics. And you can throw in some of your own tips and tricks about the game right off the bat in that context, where it's the more relaxed gaming that there could actually be in a tutorial.

Juke  11:20  
Yeah. And like, if your partner or whatever is not a gamer, they have no interest in doing a tutorial on their own. Their not just assume that they're never going to do the tutorial on their own. Even if they say that Oh, yeah, maybe at some point I'll do they won't. Tutorials are boring as fuck, okay. So do it with them. Because the tutorials will explain things in that a very simple way. These are professional people who built the tutorial, in the sense of like, these people know how to explain a game to people. So that's a great basis, especially if, because you're likely not a professional explaining things. So do it with them, not like, you know, doing it for them, but just be with them and, like, explain things along the way. And, like, when it's big paragraphs, tell them what it is, instead of making them have to read it, you know, easy stuff like that.

Perf  12:22  
I think even some, some of the lower in the game could be spoiled. Just to maybe pick the Curiosity maybe make it more like a book or to explain, I don't know, like in Warcraft, what's the beef between the characters and was the outcome of this theory. And maybe just to make it more interesting then. Because at first, when you're explaining everything, they they won't feel that that's to anything. So 

Juke  12:51  
tell them who your favorite character is, because they're not attached to any character yet. 

Perf  12:56  
they'll have to go with what you give them at first.

Juke  12:58  
Like when we first played, one of the first games we played together was Diablo, And one of those characters is it is a character that you enjoy a lot. And you pointed that out. And then that made me want to know more about that character. So I listened to everything that character said, because I was like, oh, like this guy is my boyfriend's favorite character. I want to know why, you know, I think he's gonna was terial Yeah, the judge working job justice. Justice. Yeah, exactly. That's right. Yeah. But coming back to like you in like your process. When we started dating. What was one of like, the first things that you whether you did it or not, what was one of the first things that you had you that you intended to do? Like, when you saw that, like I, there was a possibility of me picking up a remote.

Perf  13:56  
I mean, I already knew you were somewhat of a geek at this time, so I knew I had my chances. So everything I've said so far was part of the process I've done. I mean, I went through all my games picked out the few that I knew that would be more accessible. Even though I know Resident Evil was part of them, but this was very it was a test and was not the first game we've done together. So

Juke  14:25  
and it was one of the simpler Resident Evils because I don't like jumpscares so that was a big thing.

Perf  14:31  
Yeah. Alright, horror games, guys. Not the first game you want to try with someone. 

Juke  14:37  
do not play Slender Man as your first game. 

Perf  14:40  
i'm still working on it. I'll get you at some point.

But yeah, so I sorted out a few games that I knew I wanted to try with you. I was very receptive and observing of all your your behaviors. around any probing I was doing about gaming, trying to get you in. Yeah, if it was not, if it seemed like it was not a good time, or if you were too reluctant to try anything, try not to force.

Juke  15:17  
I'd say one thing that I think for me was important was starting with a game that was more of a bird's eye view, a game where I didn't have to control the camera, which is what they call the view, whatever it is, but like some, like Diablo that we played is a view from above. Yeah. I think that it simplifies things. Like if you What was the name for like, Resident Evil, like the view person, third person that was too much to handle, you know, for a beginner having to control like, the your characters movements, and the where the camera is viewing the scene is it's a lot for a beginner. Yeah,

Perf  16:07  
if you have if you're challenged by the coordination that is required, with the two joystick to follow the directions and have your character and just the general view where the cameras allowing you to see. So yeah, maybe third person view is not the best to begin with.

Juke  16:29  
Yeah. And like, also, just be receptive to like, if this is someone like that, just holding the remote is intimidating, then yeah, like go with basics. Maybe just start with like a platformer like mario bros or something. Something that that they'll recognize, even if they've never played it.

Perf  16:51  
 respecting your pace was something very important to me.  don't think I've been pushing you too hard the plane for too big amount of time or for a game too extreme? Right off the bat. Yeah.

Juke  17:10  
Yeah. And like, once we did do Resident Evil, it's because like, you were like, Oh, do we? And I was like, Okay, sure. Let's try, you know, as long as it's not jumpscares or anything, it was still fun. Yeah. And I think what's important is to not get carried away also, in being, like, in being in teacher mode. Like, I feel like some people in my life that have tried to explain various things to me, they get really in this, like, educate educator mode. And they're not having fun, it's not that they're not having fun, but they don't look like they're having fun, they look focused. And it is important, yeah, to be focused, when you're teaching someone a game, like meaning, you know, to be there to help them. But it's a lot easier for the person learning, if you're laughing along and, like having fun with it. Like, you know, I'm the type of person that if I'm, like, in a video game, driving a car, and have to do a sharp turn, my whole body does the sharp turn, I think a lot of beginners are like that. And it's it's fun to just giggle at that and, and, and have fun with it if you're too focused on teaching them all these aspects on wanting to them to be good, right off the bat and to understand everything right off the bat. Like it's it has to be like casual and fun if you want the person to come back to it. And I think for me, too, in a lot of games was allowing myself to take notes that really helped me in future games when I was when I decided to start learning like more complicated games. allowing myself to take notes really changed it for me because it really helped relieve that anxiety of having to remember all these things that are being shoved in my head.

Perf  18:56  
Sure thing that the teaching part is really important but it's really important to do it, let's say right, especially the beginning. So you have to throw in some valuable knowledge but you have not to be too serious about it because and especially not rage about anything that could happen because it even if things look very obvious to you or easy,  you're not the beginner here so you you act as an expert or as a teacher see you if you want to optimize your your chances of the person who will be coming with you in the world of gaming, you have to pay attention to your emotions and not tilt at the first mistake or even the first few 15 mistakes in a row. That's good happen. Yes, it's going to happen a lot and you really have to focus on the enjoying part of it.

Juke  19:56  
Yeah, and another part of that like alongside That is, as we suggested games where you're playing together, you have to not care too much about your character. Because your character is just there to help. If you if you're caring about the results of your game, or the experience points you're gonna get or whatever, like, you can't care about the outcome of the game.

Perf  20:21  
And yeah, and something that goes along with that is just like your ex did in the first Borderlands game where you started a game with you. But within already a character that was already done a play through. Please guys just started a new character just so you, the both of you are the same level or the same power level right off the bat. Otherwise, it's not fun if there's a huge gap in between, since there's already a huge gap in understanding knowledge and skills, even at this point, so it's just gonna make the game unfair. Even if you get your working together. Yeah. And it's gonna take out most of the challenge

Juke  21:10  
start at level zero, make yourself a smurf account if you need. And I would say, also, start with a game that you already own. Or a free game, don't buy a game for their computer. Because even if you don't care about the money, for a lot of us, it feels it adds pressure, knowing that someone spent money on a game that you might not like, especially if you're not a gamer. So like, let's say, right off the bat perf wanted to play Diablo with me, but but Diablo was a game we both had to have on our computers to play together, I would have felt really anxious about the fact that he put money towards this game. And that I didn't even know if I was gonna like it or not, or want to play again, even if he didn't care about the money that it represented. Like, for me, it was it would have been an extra pressure. So I would say start with a free game or a game that you already have that you can just shove into a console. Something basic, because it is a bit like anxiety creating to be like, Oh, this person bought something for me that I might not use. And now I feel like I have to like it. Like, give them the space and like, make it okay that they don't like it. There's some games that we played once. And we've never touched again, because Well, you've played, but like we've tried one of the it's like a Lord of the Rings spin off game. 

Perf  22:48  
Yeah, I almost forgot this one. 

Juke  22:50  
We played it once. And we never really went back to it. There was too much talking and reading and it wasn't my vibe. And and it was fine. It wasn't like, Oh, you weren't all disappointed and stuff. Like if you're an actual gamer, there's a tons of games that you play.

Perf  23:08  
Yeah. So it's part of the don't force it vibe. Yeah. Because you're trying to, you got to remember you're trying to stimulate the interest in gaming. So here again, if it's if you act or look disappointed. A well that could be working against you, and all the work you've been doing so far.

Juke  23:29  
Same goes for like watch your tone, you know, like, it's okay to tell the person that that move was a mistake. Look, your tone is really gonna change everything in that situation. When perf tells you that something's a mistake, he really doesn't feel intensely about it. He's just saying like, Oh, see that, that? Normally you wouldn't do that, you know, normally, like, if you're a pro player, you would do this, instead of that. He's not like, tilted and like anxious about the fact that I made a mistake. He's just factual and casual about it.

Perf  24:02  
Yeah, cuz I'm aware of the impact of what it can do. And I value your understanding of what's going to happen. After the action you've made, I mean, meaning I want you to understand what you've done right here could impact the game in overtime. to correct it as soon as possible in a in a non mean way.

Juke  24:30  
Yeah. And as a follow up that, once they've learned to correct that mistake, the next time they do a similar move, and they do it right instead of wrong, then it's really good to point out Oh, see this time You Really Got it?

Perf  24:47  
Yeah, that's exactly what it was about. Positive reinforcement and encouragement. Yeah, right after every time they were doing something good, super important. Because that's our brain or why to function in the first place with pretty much everything else, it's not, it's no different with gaming, we've brought this subject for with the co op games, up to this point, but if if you could trigger the interest for some more solo games. At first, it's, I think it's good to stay with the person just to explain what's happening and live the experience with them at first. And you can then stimulate some interest to give them some space and autonomy over time to

Juke  25:39  
Yeah, or if it's games that you play each on like your each on separate computers, let's say like, when you got me into playing Hearthstone, for a long time, you just, I played and you sat with me and told me what to do and, and whatnot. And then eventually, we started playing against each other was, which meant we needed to each be on our own computer. And I think that if you're trying to get your partner or friend or whatever, into that aspect of things, a great next step there would be like grab a laptop or something instead of being in separate rooms, because often the computers are in separate rooms, like periphery and AI are like, main, big, like, big big computers, or PCs, or like in separate rooms because we our offices are not together. But when we would first start playing Hearthstone together, I was on my laptop and in his office, you know, so I got used to playing like that, and then eventually got used to, and comfortable with playing like in separate rooms and feeling like feeling the the social aspect of being on Discord. But like understanding that we're together still playing because we're playing against each other. Like I feel like there's there's this real disconnect when you go to when you start playing in separate rooms. And

Perf  27:06  
it can be physical proximity is something

Juke  27:09  
Yeah, exactly. physical proximity is something and it's a big, it's, it's a big next step to just immediately go to playing separately. So if it is at all possible for you to play on your phone and them on a laptop or something where you can stay in the same room and learn to play that could be a good like, in between Yeah, I agree with all of your statements. Once you notice that I was like like once we played a first few games and stuff like that and and you know, notice that I was like liking this, this or that game? Did you have like did you have like an intention? of like, of like, Okay, I'm going to see if the if they wanted like commit to this or that game.

Perf  28:04  
If we're talking about commitment, clearly it has more to do with art stone which I've been cultivating for a long while it's been I've been working on you in that stone for at least a year and a half. Yeah, I mean worried but I've been enjoying every step of the way. So it's not harsh word. But what was important for me is for you to understand what's happening because you you mentioned that I sat with you and I told you what to do. And yes at first it was more of that so you can actually see what's happening the effect you can more like a movies in which you are the hero see what's going to happen but at some point I wanted you to become more autonomous and take some confidence in the plays you were doing with your cards so that's why I was valuing that's a word right?

Juke  29:06  
Yeah

Perf  29:09  
valued your let's say your brain work behind the place in which I had to take myself away a bit take some some kind of distance, but it was a progressive than distancing and it has nothing to do with COVID

Juke  29:26  
yeah cuz I think for for a good while. I enjoyed playing with you. But I was never really motivated to play on my own at all for Hearthstone. So that took that took a good while I think like another tip here would be just patience because it took a good while for me to like play on my own. But whenever people would ask like Oh, do you want to you want to play together then i i'd be down but playing on my own I was an interested so maybe, like, be receptive to the fact that just because the person's not Playing without you once you taught them how to play doesn't mean that they're an interested. They're they're just they they just haven't been fully bitten by yet, but like, for me if you've had if you've had noticed like, oh, when Joke's on their own, they don't ever play Hearthstone all the stop bugging them about it. That would have killed it because then that's it I would have I would never play hearts on my own and would have given up but but they, but he didn't. And that's what really eventually got me to, to playing more religiously, I guess. But I was wondering like when we first when you and Zack first showed me Hearthstone? Did you have any intentions of like did were you? Like were you hoping like Okay, I'm gonna show them Hearthstone and, and hopefully like, they'll get into this or was it more like, like when we played Diablo or when we played Resident Evil where you were just testing games out and like,

Perf  30:59  
At first my my goal was to have you hooked on pretty much any any of the above. As long as it as long as you look interested into it. Cuz here again, I want I didn't want you to come in. Because you felt forced to do it or anything I wanted you to be proud or understanding. Just wanted to do more in the game. And it happens to be archstone because I think it's the one that fits your schedule more fits your interests more. Yeah. more casual, casual play style. Yeah, that's it. That's perfect.

Juke  31:41  
I think it's more casual. It's a it's a very casual game. And a lot of your friends played some of my friends played. So it was motivating on that aspect. And there were there was some, like I was enjoying being part of the conversation to some drama with blizzard. And I knew about some stuff and I was able to participate in the conversation in the conversation between you and Zack about the drama of Blizzard and stuff like that, which I would say is a good move, like to talk to your partner about the drama around this or that game. Because everyone loves gossip. So like even just involving them in like conversations with like, Oh my God, this happened.

Perf  32:31  
Yeah. And you happen to at some point know more than me about what was happening with Blizzard? Yeah, cuz in the news and fill up the Franco. And I like that, that you've been doing this? Because, for me, it was a show of interest. Yeah, some point.

Juke  32:50  
I think for me that that the biggest, like, click in my brain was we you guys were already showing me hartstone and I was playing once in a while like with you and whatnot. And I enjoyed watching you and zyk play more often because I was understanding more and more what was happening and you were receptive to me asking questions while you were playing, which was really helpful. And then the they released a new hero. And I was already playing enough at that point with with you guys to to understand how big of a deal it was to have a new hero. And I watched a little like lore piece about like, Who is iligan? And like, what, how they worked on creating this hero and, and like the behind the scenes like there was a small little behind the scenes video that they released about it. And that really intrigued me because all of a sudden, like I knew more of the backstory in the law which which in card games is it's not always the focus. But it is It was fun to realize oh shit okay, so Ella dance this guy's brother and, and blah blah blah. And that I think really helped me be like, even like get interested a bit more in Hearthstone was understanding a bit of the lore behind it, and you connected you guys with some characters as Hearthstone. And when we were watching grubby, you'd be like linking the characters,

Perf  34:29  
bits and some Lords just to make an interesting a bit more.

Juke  34:32  
Yeah, cuz then you're like, involving the person into this new world like creating that around them is. It makes it harder to forget about the game. Exactly. Yeah, forget

Perf  34:44  
about it. They're trapped inside heartstone. So just to recap, it takes say it takes some work. It takes patience, dedication. Clearly a bit of receptivity from your partner. But it's doable. And yeah, I don't know what to add about that.

Juke  35:11  
Yeah, I will. I was wondering like, what what was for you signs that you were like, okay, I can, I can talk putting as much effort, let's say like, at the beginning of our relationship you were putting I started amount of energy towards showing me games and, and analyzing my receptivity to it, and whatnot.

Perf  35:36  
The second I saw you playing alone was a good sign. When you were able to correct some of my own mistakes inside games, I was like, Okay, yeah, there's some brain activity behind there. It's not just autopilot. And playing because I'm there is clearly your brain was stimulated and interested in, in the game. So that for me was a sign of, Okay, yeah, we've got we've got at least one game to fall back on. If anything else, so we can, that's the moment when I could let let my guard down but invest myself a bit less because I knew you. You were becoming becoming autonomous on this site. So it gave me more energy to to put inside another game, which which was Dota. But I've been going very slowly with it. But at some point you you've been putting yourself in with a good good burst for like, what, two weeks one or two weeks

Juke  36:44  
for Dota? Yeah, yeah. Well, the day Yeah. Because it was like I wanted to learn it for Valentine's Day and whatnot. So that that was a motivation of like, Okay, if I do this, I really have to do it because I have a time limit.

Perf  36:59  
Yeah, but it clearly paid off. And at this point, you you did impress me Yeah, I love it. I think if I remember correctly, I cried a bit of this. It was very touching.

Juke  37:13  
And I would say like that that is an intimidating game. Like if there if there are gamers listening to this episode, which I'm assuming the people who are listening to this episode, because we're talking more to gamers about non gamers in this episode. The thought is intimidating game and I would not say too big introduce Yeah, I would I would not say that it began with that game. I think that I was more of the type of game that that someone chooses to decide to learn. It's a it's a complex game and it's hard to like

Perf  37:46  
you have to have time and you have to have the will to engage this type of game which is a MOBA but yeah, it's an intense one. I think a nice go through the beginning with our games that are more story focused, there's a lot less action in it requires less aiming skills and surviving skills. It's more like a walk in the park if you want Yeah, type of games like most of the Telltale Games, where you have to like lie for strangers I think it's one from a tell tale. Oh, it's a company. Yeah, okay. Okay. Thing Walking Dead is one of them. Life is Strange. I think there's platformers to are really forms are pretty straightforward. You jump in you defeats like, some cartoonish enemies, like Crash Bandicoot mario bros? Yeah, little bit planet something that failed Big Planet. There's a very good one that I've been playing with Dewey and it's a it's called in life one. Yeah, it takes two. Oh, yeah. I recommend this game for any couples out there any bros or sisters out there they want to play a game. It says super good story super good visuals and requires a lot of steam play Of course.

Juke  39:11  
Yeah, that was a fun game to watch you guys play. I call it to be perfect husband now because of that game. I would say yeah, like Hearthstone was a great game to begin with. If you yourself play Hearthstone. It's a great game to get your partner in. Because it's a card game. So this screen is a table and cents. So that that's easier to get used to and platformers and, and all the stuff that perv mentioned but I would say if I had started off with Life is Strange. I would have gotten frustrated because games like life has changed as much as it's like a walk in the park and simple. I would get frustrated at not having all the possibilities because in my mind, I'm playing A video game. So if I want to punch this person I should be able to, because, you know, and, and the Life is Strange, especially at the beginning, but the options are really limited they really want you to do this one thing and so a lot of other things just won't work or are not possible to do. And for some people it might be like for my mom, maybe it's a great game to start off with because it's straightforward and, and there's not too many options and stuff like that like for your mom as well. Probably a great game to start off with because it's it's calm and straightforward and just a few buttons like you don't even use all the buttons on the remote you use like four of them.

Perf  40:42  
Even then I pretty sure would like green tea.

Juke  40:45  
Okay, well that for my mom, or for my dad, you know, like it would be like a great first game. But for someone like me, who like had this preconceived idea of video games like if I want to kill someone I should be able to Yeah, I wouldn't have liked it as as a first game I would have gotten too fresh it's a bit like the Lord of the Rings game where I was like gets too much reading not enough happening you know? So again, just know to know how to read your your person knew very important fully diving into the gaming world and and then joining discord chat where all the gaming got your gamer friends can join and stuff like that. That might take a while. It took me a really long time. Even after perv added me to the discord chat with his friends still took months before I ever joined. And and it would be like okay, there's no one on and we wanted to play Hearthstone together. So we would go on to discord, just so that we could talk even though we're in separate rooms. And then as soon as someone else would join, it's like I didn't want to talk anymore. It's it's really intimidating to join that part of the world especially because for a lot of us that are not gamers, it isn't necessarily a casual thing to talk on Discord. It's it's like it's like a phone call, like a lot of people of our generation find phone calls overwhelming, you know, we're not, we're no longer used to communicating like that. So I would say like stuff like that, like, like you, you might not understand the anxiety that your noob is having. Because it's something that you've been used to like your whole life because gamers even before discord, you were talking on Skype you were whatever, right? Because you need to talk while you play.

Perf  42:49  
Yeah, that was I was about to plug in, you can explain to you into that. Communication is very important in gaming, it can change the outcome of most game action.

Juke  43:03  
But like that's what I'm meaning of like being receptive is like, there's, there's, there's this whole part of learning, learning the world of gaming that you are no longer in touch with. Because you've been gaming for so long. All I'm saying is be be receptive to that person, that anxieties and understanding that the anxieties that they're living, you might not understand because because at the age that you started gaming, you might not even have had those anxieties. You know, like everybody's their own person. saunder everyone's life is as complex as your own. So be receptive and and, and listen and learn to communicate. Watch your tone. I think a lot of people get frustrated.

Perf  43:44  
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. I was about to say it's a very good point where you have not to push it, because I I think that's what I'm trying to say don't push it. Because I at this point, and I knew you had anxieties about this. And I've been trying to get you into this curve, but I was not I was not pushy. I was like the moment you want to decide to come it's gonna be all right. And you got to be able to discuss and yeah, enjoy it communicate about the game and yeah, and if it takes months it takes months is the but it has to come from your gamer from union.

Juke  44:21  
Yeah. And I didn't want to imply that that was pushy at all with the discord. He wasn't. So just just be opened to whatever may surprise you. Like for proof. Really. He was not expecting me to be anxious about talking to people, because I clearly like the sound of my own voice.

Perf  44:43  
I knew he reserved meanings ideas of all many games I would have to just show to you but for talking with other people. I didn't anticipate this one. Yeah, well, you know, I was surprised too, but are you kidding me? No sweat. What's up? Yeah.

Juke  45:00  
Now and but still to this day like I'll hop on discord for the THC or when we're playing alone and no one's on discord I'll hop on but if you and your friends are gaming, I never hop on the disc because I'm like that's their bubble you know like that's them going out to the bar just because I know a bar the red doesn't mean that I'm invited.

But yeah,

Perf  45:22  
you're welcome you've seen there you've seen him talk about with all the people from the moment he Yeah, I think pretty It was pretty good and wholesome all around. Yeah. Yeah, as far as I know. No was every time people have people tried to new jokes trying to burb what they really want to mean is that we're done with this episode.

Juke  45:54  
So I feel like we repeated our tips so many times. And they're all true, they are all true. And if you are going to get your noob into any game or into any aspect of the gaming world, something that would be super handy for you to have accessible to them is our glossary on Getting Gamers comm we build it we add to it as with every episode, any definition that we gave in an episode gets added to the glossary and it will get fuller and fuller as time goes on. So you can always check back in with the glossary have your new book market so that they can whenever whenever they hear words on discord, they can go quickly find it. And you can follow us at Getting Gamers on Twitter and on Twitch and on Facebook, which is I think Facebook is the place where I'm the most active for now. Because it is the social media that perfect I use the most. Though I do try to check the Twitter I'm there. And you can find me at Duke underscore ish on Twitter, twitch Instagram, and other stuff that I can't think about right now. Before it Where can we find you?

Perf  47:08  
You guys can find me only on Twitch at perfectedL it's in the description. And yeah, I'm gonna plug myself a few episodes in a row because it's gonna help me to go to go and make me available for you guys to see my amazing place and maybe speed around residency. Alright, thank you all and GG.